Do one value interview a week

HABIT #39

Details & Clarification 

I want to ask and take notes on at least one value-revealing question (for example from my Mindform introspection cards) to someone close to me (often my dad) a week.

Starting point & Lessons from the past 

I’ve done this before, but in the past I’ve only done this about maybe once a month, and sometimes even less. I know it makes me really happy once I’m doing it, but I struggle with getting started. It’s usually easiest to do around wine time, starting at 21.30, but I can feel that I’m too tired. The other thing is that I can struggle with asking if it’s a good time to do a value interview, being afraid it’s inconvenient (though my parents would feel free to say no if they prefer to do something else, and usually are enthausiastic when I propose to do a value interview). Time can also be an issue, if I don’t start at 21.30 and want to get to bed early.  

Why this habit is important to me: 

• It will help me have more beautiful and deep conversations. I really love to go beyond the basic stuff, and find it way more interesting and fulfilling.
• It will help me lay the foundation for my value project. One of the things I love to learn more about are values. I think they are such a foundational element to what makes a meaningful, fullfilling, and happy life. Yet it can be hard to find a starting point and not get overwhelmed when working on that project. Doing value interviews allows me to gather useful material while not having to devote a lot of mindspace to the project (as my current focus is on Mighty Habits).
• It will help me deepen my relationships. I find it fun and important to really try and unravel how the people I care about think, and find out what’s important to them, and why. It helps me appreciate their skills and strengths.

Identities I want to build with this habit: 

• Axiologist

Trigger: 

• I will aim to do this on every Monday evening at 21.30 (but will snooze it a day if it’s incovenient), I’ve added a weekly recurring task in Akiflow as a reminder.

Tracking: 

• I will track this habit in my Akiflow app.

Habit boosters (things that will help me follow through): 

• Public accountability: Having it part of this public challenge will boost my motivation to follow through.
• Social accountability: I will share my plan with my dad (and mom if my dad prefers bi-weekly interviews).

Obstacle battleplans (how I’ll deal with potential obstacles): 

• Scared of bothering others: I always have this fear of bothering other people. What usually helps is to make it really easy for others to say no and to tell them that I would appreciate it if they tell me if they’re not up for it even if we already scheduled it. I will also try and keep in mind that my dad loves doing these things, and that he feels comfortable to say so if he’s not in the mood. Planning the interview in advance will make it easier to not have to gather up courage in the moment to ask.
• Feeling tired: Having scheduled the interview in advance, will help me avoid the question of ‘Do I have enough energy for this’ and just start which will 9 out of 10 times provide me with the energy I need to do a good interview. 
• Not enough time before bed: I will try and start at 21.30 to make sure I can get to bed on time, if it’s already 22.00 I will just ask my conversation partner if they’re ok with a short 30 minute session. If it’s even later, I will postpone it to the next day. Planning my initial interview on Monday will allow for some flexibility to reschedule.

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